So Long, Farewell

Today was one of the last days we would see John's parents. We are going to breakfast with them tomorrow and then the send off. I am already sad. I know John's mom and dad are going to be upset and I hate seeing our parents like that. I feel even worse because its mostly about Cade. I hate that he isn't around his grandparents. Ever since I knew I would have kids, I wanted them to have the same relationship I had with my grandparents. Knowing the life we choose I see that our children wont have that. They wont have that connection with them. They will be like every other kid and their family, and I didn't want that. I am going to try so hard that they will have that special relationship I had with mine. It will take effort, time and sacrifices, but it is something I want my kids to have.

Another thing I learned about tonight - I walked into Cade's room to put him to bed and saw John in his closet. I looked to see what he was doing and say he was putting $1 into his piggy bank. I stood there for a moment just thinking how many other times John has done this. I mean I put all my change in there too. But never did I think John did the same. It is odd, living in the same house as someone, being married to someone, and still not knowing all the time what makes them do the things they do. I wonder why John puts money in there. Is it the same reasons I do? Or are his different? I would ask him, but I think it gives him some sort of happy putting money in there, believe I don't know. I'll let him keep it that way, and we can keep our reasons to our selves. I guess soon though we will have to open up a savings account because I know from what I, and now John, put in there, his piggy is about to bust.

I hope everyone is doing well. Not to much longer until Cade and I go to Birmingham. I am getting nervous about driving alone, but it has to be done.