Only time will tell

Well John just helped me find directions to the Children's South Ped Outpatient center (and directions to the closest Coach store!). I will be leaving tomorrow afternoon for our trip, waiting until Cader is ready for his afternoon nap. Today we just had to lay him in his crib and but him to sleep. The past few days he would not take a nap, guess there was too much going on. But today he went right to sleep. We had to wake him up for bath time.

I am hoping they will just change his medication and put him on new formula and he will be better. His ped here said she thinks it is severe reflux. But when we had the upper gi done, it showed nothing (however, I think if they put the techs head in the machine it would show nothing also). She classified his a "failing to thrive". I am sort of upset at the fact that a few people, include John, feel I am over reacting. Yes, our son is happy and he looks fine. He is super tall and because of that he just looks like his weight has get got stretched over his long body. But he pukes up a ton, his blood work showed he has issues and he didn't gain weight for almost a two months. So please don't tell me "nothing" is wrong with him and he is "fine". You make me feel like a horrible, paranoid mother. I don't want anything to be wrong with our child, but if there was then it would explain his reactions to food and help him thrive and then we can help him instead of saying "suck it up kid". Because I didn't say he was failing to thrive, his doctor did, and if his PCM(primary care manager) said it (and his doctor in St. Louis and the doctor on base), ran tests (twice) and feels he should be seen by a specialist then it isn't just a case of a over reacting mother.

Since my wireless on my laptop conveniently stopped working two days ago, I wont be able to update anyone until I get home, as I would rather tell people when I am comfortably at home with my husband and not in a hotel room alone. Of course I will call John though.

So Long, Farewell

Today was one of the last days we would see John's parents. We are going to breakfast with them tomorrow and then the send off. I am already sad. I know John's mom and dad are going to be upset and I hate seeing our parents like that. I feel even worse because its mostly about Cade. I hate that he isn't around his grandparents. Ever since I knew I would have kids, I wanted them to have the same relationship I had with my grandparents. Knowing the life we choose I see that our children wont have that. They wont have that connection with them. They will be like every other kid and their family, and I didn't want that. I am going to try so hard that they will have that special relationship I had with mine. It will take effort, time and sacrifices, but it is something I want my kids to have.

Another thing I learned about tonight - I walked into Cade's room to put him to bed and saw John in his closet. I looked to see what he was doing and say he was putting $1 into his piggy bank. I stood there for a moment just thinking how many other times John has done this. I mean I put all my change in there too. But never did I think John did the same. It is odd, living in the same house as someone, being married to someone, and still not knowing all the time what makes them do the things they do. I wonder why John puts money in there. Is it the same reasons I do? Or are his different? I would ask him, but I think it gives him some sort of happy putting money in there, believe I don't know. I'll let him keep it that way, and we can keep our reasons to our selves. I guess soon though we will have to open up a savings account because I know from what I, and now John, put in there, his piggy is about to bust.

I hope everyone is doing well. Not to much longer until Cade and I go to Birmingham. I am getting nervous about driving alone, but it has to be done.

Sorry I didn't get around to writing last night. We were watching a movie and after John's parents left I went to bed. Yesterday was a nice day. The weather wasn't too hot and it wasn't too humid. We went to the Aviation Museum on base. It's alright. Nothing compared to the Art Museum in St. Louis. Being one of the only "attractions" we can take people to around here when the visit its good enough. The helicopters they have there are so funny looking. I kept saying how they look so much like cartoon noses. I included a few pictures for reference. The only other "attraction" we have around here is the Dothan Peanuts. http://www.dcmi.com/peanuts/index.html. And let us tell you, its not that bad if you miss it. After going to this site I only learned more about them. We have only seen 7 and four are in the same location. These people are crazy for peanuts.

After seeing the helicopters we rented a few movies and made dinner. We were amused with Cade for a few hours while he decided his toes were there for much more than just balance when you walk. Wouldn't you want to be as flexible as he is? I also added photos of an Apache, which is what John would choose if he could.

Smiley Bob

Had to get another glass of wine for this, as I already wrote this post once and it didn't go through! So it wont be as long

Today was great. We spent all of it with John's parents. They came over early this morning and visited with us awhile. Cade is such a joy in the morning. He is always so happy and laid back, so we just watched and listened to him for awhile. We decided then to go to Dothan, since Tuesday is payday. Even though Dothan would be busy anyways because there is nothing to do here!

We got to go to lunch and then to the mall, target, barnes and noble (my two favs!) and then Bety Buy. After that we went home in a rainstorm and Cade and I took naps in the back. When we got home we just hung out. Sometimes it is just great to sit and talk to people about nothing. Just enjoy their company. John made us lasagna for dinner and we shared a bottle of wine. Tom

gave Cade his evening bottle and we put him to bed. It was so nice to spend time with them. We talked about the Cardinals and how they were doing. (tip - if you ever want to give us something and don't know what, give us Cardinal things. We all like showing were we came from. Cade now has tons of Cards onesies, which he wears EVERY day! ).

Well I am off for the rest of the night. I hope everyone is doing well!

Lost post

Today was a great day. We got to spend it all with John's parents. They came over early this morning, we sat around for awhile, just watching Cade. He is so happy in the morings. It takes him a while to wake up, but after he is awake, he just talks and carries on. He loves to stand in his exersaucer and just beat away at things.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

So today I went, again, and got my hair cut. Second time in one month. I just didnt like the way it was "poofing" out and I wanted bangs. Instead of going to Wal-Mart, I went to the beauty shop on base. I really liked the girl I went too. I feel like a more military wife now. I dont do alot on base. We get food at Wal-Mart instead of the commissary, I got my hair done at Wal-Mart, instead of the PX. We got clothes at Wal-Mart, instead of the PX. (see the pattern forming). We do everything basically off base. We do get gas on base, its about 10 cents cheaper. But not much else. So how do you all like my hair? Not too bad. I think my bangs are too short, so we will see how they look in about two weeks. I basically got all my layers cut out, just a fresh start.

As for Cade and John today, they got to see Grandma and Grandpa Siech for the first time in awhile. It was really good to see them. They left MO last night and stopped in KY, then came the rest of the way today. We showed them around base, after the guards wouldnt let them on! Just a reminder, if you come to visit us you need to have your licence, insurance card and car registration with you. Otherwise you wont be granted a visitor pass, sorry guys! After we gave them a short tour, we went to dinner. It was great to see them. They will be staying in Enterprise until Monday. But lets not think about that until the time comes.

Not much else is going on. July 2nd we go to Brimingham. As of right now, John will stay here. I plan on purchasing those portable dvd players you hook to the back of the headrests for Cade to watch his Baby Enistine DVD. I dont want to have to deal with a screaming child on a four hour car ride. Ill just set it to the replay button! Hey, at least it is educational.

Off to bed, I have a nasty headache and Cade just went down. Ill leave John to his own devices.

We are FAMILY

Today, we cleaned, getting ready for dad and Janet to visit before their flight back home to St. Louis, and for John's parents who are arriving tomorrow for a week. We were so happy to be able to spend some time this weekend with dad and Janet. We miss our families so much. Its hard to say and I know some of you wont understand, but it is not as hard as we thought. We thought we would be terribly homesick and not thrive down here. But in reality, we came to terms that this is the life style we choose and because of that, that we were not forced into this situation, it is easier to accept and handle. Sure, we wish we could see our families every week and on special occasions, but we are here knowing that there are people, strangers, just like us that are experiencing the same things. And there forever, there will be people like us to come to these terms and realizations. I guess that is what makes us a "military family", understanding and accepting the choices and their consequences of the lifestyles who choose and knowing that almost every house on the street and on post there is another family just like us who misses their families and friends too.

Like I said tomorrow begins another round of visiting with family. We are so excited to see John's parents, but wish his brothers could have come down. We understand they have jobs, but so wished they could have found the time to come down. Hopefully they wont be working too much during Dec. as we plan to go home for a few weeks.

I am hoping to get home to St. Louis later this summer, even possibly July. I want to drive to Cape for a few days and then up to St. Louis. I want to fly to VA for a week or two and then drive back from St. Louis. I know it will be a long long trip with Cade and we have never taken a vacation without each other. I feel guilty leaving John home, but he knows I want to go home for a bit.

Cade is doing great. July 7th cant come soon enough. I called his gi today to see what they were planning on and they said it was just a "general doctors visit". YEA! I get to drive four hours for a 30 minute conversation. Just what I was looking forward too. So maybe that trip home will have to wait awhile. My hunch is they will have us come back for testing, or maybe they will just change his formula and medication and he will be fixed. If we were so lucky.

Its 7:30PM; do you know where your children are?

Well I do, how could you miss him. He is screaming because it is "that" time of the night. That unholy time of the night where psyhco children roam the earth, with there heads rotating in circles and mouths spitting pea soup. Its "that" time of the night where absolutely nothing will suffice. You have to feel some sympathy for him. He is so laid back and content during the day that for one hour, us as parents, stand on our heads trying everything we can think of (which is hard with all that blood rushing to our brains) to pacify our child, and right now the winner is Baby Einstein DVD. I meant to buy the next one (hands and toes) off half.com, but all i can find is the 2004 version and i know they have a 2007 one. but i guess for $8 instead of $16, ill take the older one. He is sitting there calmly and content in his exersaucer smiling and laughing at the methodical ticking clock on the TV. Hell if i knew it was that easy to please him, I would have stood in the bathroom for an hour letting him stare at that one. How can a movie so simply made, entrace children for 29 min? Simply amazing.

Not to much went on today. We dropped Cade off at the CDC for the first time. Yes, I cried, Cade cried when we left and John yelled at me because he is a man and didn't want to show he was upset too, so I guess anger was his front. We went to lunch, but I was still upset about leaving Cade, crying and John yelling at me for crying that we really didn't enjoy it. And that was what it was about. I wanted to have a nice lunch with him, without Cade, just so we could enjoy each others company and not have to worry about entertaining him. I also wanted to drop him off now, with John because I know when John starts classes again, there will be times I need to go somewhere with out Cade and John isnt home to watch him. I wanted John there for support, but he was upset too, so it didn't help much. I cried almost the entire time we left him. Then when we went to pick him up, he was asleep in the stroller, huffing. They said he cried for 45 minutes! They said they didn't want to call because we said we would only be two hours. But then she said that he was asleep for 30 min. Which means he started crying an hour and 15 min before we came to get him. Which means he was only "ok" for 45 min (and that is if I did all my math right). They said they feed him a jar of food we brought (but we didn't bring the bottle because we knew he wouldn't need it). They told us we needed to bring the bottle next time because that is probably what he wanted. Well thanks for telling me about my child, but now he is throwing up the rest of the day major because he was over feed. We told him he has a stomach issue and feed him 10 min before we dropped him off. So there should have been no way he was really hungry. If you offer him food, he will take it, whether he was hungry or not. I am nervous about leaving him again. But I know I need to for my sake and his. He needs to learn to be happy and "ok" around other people that are not us. I know the grandparents out there reading this will be upset with us leaving him with strangers, but we do what we have to do in this remote part of AL. Trust me, when he is old enough, he will be mailed to you every spring break and summer vacation.

Not much else is going on. John starts his next three week class July 8th. Cade and I go to Birmingham on July 1st or 2nd. I am going to stay the night so I dont know if I am going to go up before his appt or stay after. I also talked with his ENT here and he is going to try to set up an appt for the ped. ENT there for the same day if possible. John called Monday and left a message with Cades ped gi to find out what is going on, on July 2nd. He left a voicemail and no one called today. I will have to have John call back tomorrow. I just want them to understand where we are coming from and going up there a few times a week for appts or tests is not really an option. Everything needs to be done in a timely manner.

Almost time for Cades bath.